State of the Union . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sunday, December 3, 2000 -- tigole
MARCK EMARCK DECLARED PRESIDENT OF NORRATH
The Impartial Witness, Slayar of Sanctuary:
President Marck took immediate action. I quote:
The cabinet and administration I have appointed are as
Vice President - Galiaan
Chief of Staff - Lutador
Surgeon General - Polonious
Director of Defense - Amulek
Director of Secret Service - Signel
Press Secretary and Public Appearances - Tigole Bitties
Liason to Community Affairs - Debonica due to her extreme amount of people skills she has demonstrated.
First Lady - Jangos
3 Supreme Court Justices - Arlos, Mudcrush, Joboba
Personal Bodyguard Against Fell/Kyojitsu - Sinah
Speaker of the House - Tenaj
Future appointments will follow but have yet to be decided before consulting Vice President Galiaan.
Tigole, you may quote me as saying this, "My first act as President of Norrath will be to cleanse our peaceful lands of what I and my Vice President have deemed to be "Enemies of the state". These people are considered to be harmful and dangerous to the equilibrium of our land. One such enemy is being dealt with as we speak. (Consult Picture below)"
Thank you my fellow Norrathians. Rest assured I shall rule fairly during
my life term as your president. Please address me as Mr. President in the
future. Thank you.
President of Norrath Marck Emarck
However the Election was marred when Chon Durtfeet, Enemy of the State released this statement:
let it be known on this day, that the TRAITOR TO THE CROWN, MARCK, and
all of his followers shall be dealt with swiftly. As high exalted
minister of defense, I promise that this SCOURGE of a rebel will die a
horribly painful death.
I talked to the high exalted minister of offense today, and he had only this to say. " that little fag is going to die. die die die die die die die die die. the forces of King Valmoon are meeting tonight to discuss the horrible nasty shit we are going to do to marck."-- Leick
I also spoke with Prime minister of sexiness, Crazz."I assure you Chon, he won't be a problem. he is very unsexy, which means that only female chars played by guys will follow him. Valmoon on the other hand.... well lets just say marck is nothing compared to him."
I promise, good people of los, this little traitor shall die a miserable horrible death. GOD BLESS THE KING!
High Exalted Minister of Defense,
Crazz went on to offer:
Valmoon, not only is the king,but he is the sex symbol of Norrath.
President Marck, never one to rest on his laurels, game back swinging:
Look at the surname of what crazz was, Crazz Ecrazz. I own he. I own you
chon mcsucksazz. The time of this weakly built and extremely poosae
monarchy are over. It is over chon. It has been and will always be.
Dimpled chads will not save you here fool man.
And I am the uber sexy dorf chon. Im sorry but you must not have read my profile in Draed's thing. I understand if barbs such as you cant work something so uncomplicated like that but oh well. Two of such chicks are in my pic there. Men who wear dresses can never and will never rule.
The PRESIDENT Marck Emarck
Soon Political Alliances from all over Norrath were being formed. Parv Vardt, Pride of Rivervale joined into the controversy:
WTF is this shit about?
And I can promise the Guardians of the Vale to come to President Marck's aid should you treacherous gay barbs try to ass hump us.
Chon put up quick defenses, trying to shield his Paper Monarchy:
your pituful attempts to intimidate me have failed. i have no fear of your little gay self. and parv, choose your side wisely. kaladim shall soon know the furry that is Barb..... do you want rivervale to suffer the same fate? do you want all if its people killed? do YOU want to hold the burden for condeming them?
High exalted minister of defense,
Representing the Vale, Parv responds:
For too long the gay barbs of Halas (wtf gay name is White Rose? Least we have Deeppockets and the Wall) have oppressed the citizens of Rivervale. I accept the thrown gauntlet, challenge the might of the Wall and suffer our fury, gay barb.
Iaminae Silvercloud, cornered by the volatile political environment, makes a reluctant alliance:
I have no problem with valmoon.., but however the fact that you appear to be having a secret alliance with Tarkien by the due fact you share the same race, it saddens my heart to pledge the support of the wizards of Faydwer to President Marck, and the halfling known as Parv. You will shortly be bombarded by ice comets, sun strikes, and if you manage to resist those, we will simply lure you down to dust.
President Marck, strong and respected leader that he is, ends the debate once and for all:
The guardians of the vale are victorious over the goblins of runnyeye and the stormguard of kaladim have always beaten back the ogre hordes~ The white rose (wtf?) and whatever else you contain in your fool city has been victorious in uhm sucking ass.
The guardians of the vale and the stormguard of kaladim simply will have no trouble ripping your puny barb army a new asshole then pissing down your throats when we stand over your cold dead corpses. Thx~ next please
Iaminae the amabassador of the pasties and parv representative of the halflinks has spoken their support for me. The support you have garnered is a single cowboy. I will have parv send some deputies to arrest he before he causes more trouble at the fool's gold saloon~
The President of Norrath Marck Emarck
And now for something completely different:
Trakanon died yesterday. Loot consisted of a Manna Robe and a Deepwater Breastplate. Here's a pic of The Wizard of Ozus looking like the fly-pimp-mack-daddy he is:
Danuvin thanks you all for the Deepwater Breastplate.
Did I mention we have the sexiest Enchanters out of any guild? Especially Saldor. . .
Quotes of the Day:
From Chon Durtfeet:
"kaladim shall soon know the furry that is Barb...."
From Saldor the Silvermoon, friendly neighborhood enchanter:
Stalkers, Wanna-Be's and Unoriginal Bastards of the Day: