We Can Dance If We Want To, We Can Leave Your Friends Behind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sunday, January 19, 2003 --  tork

Fucking finally - after a kick ass recovery from a week of failed attempts and � a bottle of THE Glenlivet, THE Evil Empire dropped Rallos Zek in flawless fashion Thursday - well, Reynaldo died, but dead rangers don't count... in fact we kinda encourage it~

The only thing that kinda sucked, besides me getting writer's block yesterday, was the ignominious necro kill shot:

Fuckin' Necrii

We've been using the our time wisely, feeling out the Elemental Planes,

My WW2 Tigershark Tattoo!

and I was really looking forward to a whole week worth of exploration - that's the best time in EQ, the uncertainty and the fun of not knowing what all is next and full well expecting the eventual wipe out, but some cacks crashed PoTactics just to XP in the pit. I'm not hallucinating black helicopters, these assholes freely admitted doing it, and not just in PoTact - they know just as well as we do the GM's won't respond to petitions, /reports, &c. I guess I'm glad RZ is back up, since some people got fucked out of legit flags and I want to help them get on with PoP, but it still sucks ass this rampant zone crashing continues - TEE HEE!

All said, though, I'm impressed LoS was able to turn the corner on a night when we had every reason to just say piss on it and log - I'll admit it's been fucking frustrating to lose in nearly every conceivable suck dick way, but it's also an opportunity to further my research.

Let me explain: Have you ever found an experience that left you physically and mentally drained in a bad way, such as arguing with the return desk at Wal Mart? Have you listened to a TV infomercial and thought, 'I am getting fucking dumber by the minute' before unconsciously drooling on yourself as you reached for the phone to order? Well, bad news: it's not just your imagination, it's a real, and most cases, permanent, loss of intelligence. I don't mean to alarm anyone, but if some of you lose a few more brain cells to this infectious stupidity, you're at risk of becoming talking chimps. In fact, this applies to a troublingly large segment of the population, which is why I am trying to quantify the effects of stupidity, known clinically as "fucking retarded" - especially mass stupidity writ large.

I feel this is going to be some ground breaking work, and while there is no cure, perhaps this will be the watershed event eventually spawning treatment (such as self-sterilization). I'll share some of my preliminary findings at this time, and continue to collect data from my band of retards in the mist.

• Retardation seems to require a specific activation energy.
  Saving a lecture in chemistry, in some cases extremely favorable reagents may be mixed together, but reaction not immediately take place due to a lack of energy to initiate the process - for example gasoline and oxygen will not combust without the spark. That added heat is known as the activation energy, and a rough analog exists in retardation. Individually, any one action of retardation can be tolerated by its surrounds reasonably well and without infecting others. These actions go by many names: a joke, horseplay, slacking, attentionboss, a joke, testing, false claims of literacy, but once those individual occurrences being to stack up, an activated complex stirs, building and growing; a precipitous foreplay for the stupid which cannot be rushed, but yet not fully realizing its own potential until the activation energy, E_aRETARDATION, is achieved. Once, however, sufficient energy, has been added to reaction, things been to inexorably proceed:
  
  Figure 1: Clusterfuck Potential Vs Time, E_aRETARDATION noted
• Retardation varies with distance to next closest retard.
  Closely related to attraction in electricity and magnetism, retardation grows stronger as subjects draw nearer to one another, often subconsciously seeking one another out in a slow but accelerating dance, perhaps drawn in by mouth breathing signals, circling with a steady spiral of increasing retardation which ultimately leads to the first seed of active stupidity. As noted in Figure 2, even a relatively small degree of separation can stave off otherwise sufficient E_aRETARDATION, which would explain the natural flocking retards exhibit, and an affinity for unnecessarily hugging nuts. The most pronounced increase appears to be due to self explanatory Intrazone Tidal Retard Effect (ITRE).
  
  Figure 2: Retardation Vs Distance, ITRE noted
• Retardation increases with population size.
  Yes, this sounds intuitive, but there's something deeper, insidious, at work here in a non-obvious manner. Stupidity can exist individually, but in its purest form - the committee - its power shines with the brilliance of the sun, and that light of warms the faces of the masses, awaking the inner retard. In a vicious cycle, the collective intelligence of Legac people steadily declines with population size once E_aRETARDATION has been achieved and the critical mass formed, quickly sucking in and enveloping the herd, until doing something like Vex Thal seems a good idea.
  
  Figure 3: Retardation Vs Population Size
• Retardation often spawns drama.
  Duh - and by "Duh" I mean there's a really witty paragraph which should go here, but I fucked up and hit Ctrl+C instead of Ctrl+V when editing and don't feel like rewriting it. See also Figure 1.
  
  Figure 4: Retardation Reaction, notionally balanced

Anyhow, special thanks to my research assistants (you know who you are) - once more into the breech, dear friends; once more...

Jangos, Beatnik

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Quotes of the Day

Voro..................................